Where in Beginningless Cyclic Existence to Start?

I first ran into the Dharma in Crandall Library in 1995. It turned out to be the perfect time. That is kind of how my life works most of the time. 1980 would have been better, but i guess i wouldn't have learned as much on the way. Besides every moment led to this one, so best not to second guess and go all Fringe.
I feel like i have made no progress ever since, but i do still avail myself of every opportunity to count breaths/sheep/etc. to try to tame my insane brain.
I do not use that term lightly. I have worked in the mental health field since 1987 and lived a good portion of it (minus the stigmatizing inpatient stays) most of my life. This is part of how Dharma saved me from several cliffs. We'll get to that in sort of a convoluted way, as that is how my mind seems to work best.
Today, it is cloudy and cold, my legs hurt and kept me up last night, my sinus infection is slowly improving (sinuses have several design flaws), and, in short, i woke up again with this precious human rebirth. All of the above seems to confirm that.
Choices tend to paralyze me and lead to inaction. That is part of why i feel like i have made no progress. I am still stuck on how to integrate the various viewpoints into a unified practice that will still be true to Dharma without screwing it up with my own crap. I started out in the Gelugpa tradition. It still appeals to my need for logic and order. However, engaging my intellect is not the only thing that needs doing and there are no Gelugpa centers within 4 hours of my current location, so i have been more and more drawn to the Kagyupa. The problem there is (a)  KTD is only for rich people, so i can't afford any of their teachings, (b) KTC is for anyone, but i work weekends and evenings at the hospital, so i can't get their either. The less than 2 hours away centers are a possibility, but mostly on Sunday mornings, which can be an issue when i get home from work after midnight. I can make excuses for anything.
The real issue is that i feel like Bob. I just want to go to the teacher's house and have him tell me what is wrong and how to fix it. And so here i sit typing instead of taking action on my own. Time to start babystepping.